I long ago learned that we are not our past. In order to rise above our negative experiences we must reframe them. We can do this by learning a great deal from them and recognising our ineffective or harmful ‘default settings’.
We all have strategies we use for certain situations. We need these in order to manage life’s challenges unconsciously. There is far too much going on for most of us to consciously think through our approach to every single situation that arises. But… are they effective? Are all of your strategies, ways in which you deal with certain situations and people, working for you?
I have met many people whose answer to this question begins as a ‘yes’. On closer inspection we may find that the effect of using this unconscious, go to, strategy was partly harmful and could use a little adjustment or major rethink.
Take road rage for instance. When a person shouts at the driver who pulled out on them, didn’t pull away fast enough or in any other way angered them do they benefit. Many would say yes. They believe that this is a way of alleviating their stress, venting steam. But many effective people have a different strategy entirely. Many people are able to use their reaction to gauge their state of mind and shift it to a more resourceful, effective state.
Who do you think would have the better day ahead? The person who reacted out of stress (let’s call him person a), or the person able to behave and think in a more resourceful way, (person b)?
Person a) will most likely react to stress in this way by default, whatever the stressor may be. Person b) on the other hand will most likely use their effective strategy to handle stress in all other areas.
So, how to change your default settings? First question the strategy. Does it benefit you? Is it your chosen way to react? Did you learn this strategy from someone else, perhaps your parent or boss? If you could change your reaction would you? How would you choose to react differently?
With stress as the example I can assure you that I have had many clients effectively change their stress response to many situations for the better. They benefit from lower stress levels in all areas, a calmer approach, clearer thinking, and report being much more contented. Their family benefits from their strategic approach to situations, their work benefits from clearer thinking also. There are the obvious health benefits from lower stress levels and the mental health benefits are abundant.
Hypnotherapy, incorporating highly effective NLP techniques, and self-hypnosis, can aid you greatly in making the changes that will benefit you and those around you.
It’s your life so take control of your reactions and settings – reinvent your mind.
“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done you’ll keep on getting what you always got”